The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time.
What do you get in the end of it? Death.
What if the life cycle was backward???
(1) You should die first.
You know, start out dead, Get it out of the way.
You wake up in a an old age home, Feeling better every day.
(2) You get kicked out for being too healthy,
Go collect your pension, Then, when you start work,
You get a gold watch on your first day.
(3) A woman suddenly comes into your life u dont know how
She's been there always, for ages, does the household work.
Even provides you the occasional workout :-)
After so many years, you get married. The next day you seperate!!
(3.5) You work 40 years until you're young enough
To enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol,
You party, u're generally promiscuous
(hey, you've only got a few years left, what's the big deal?).
And you get ready for High School.
(4) Then you go to primary school,
You become a kid, You get toys,
You play, You have no responsibilities,
And, finally, You become a baby.
(5) The last step,
You spend your last 9 months
Floating peacefully With luxuries like
Central heating, Spa, Room service on tap,
Larger quarters everyday,
And then...
(6) You finish off as an orgasm.
Disclaimer : I have altered this post.
Original post is in Sharad's Blogspot
Monday, October 30, 2006
Dictionary of Dating
Attraction : the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
Love at 1st Sight : what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
Dating : the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
Birth Control : avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphram, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
Easy : a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
Eye Contact : a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
Friend : a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
Indifference : a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted to by the man as "playing hard to get."
Interesting : a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
Irritating Habit : what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
Law of Relationships : the less you care about a given man, the harder he is to get rid of.
Law of Relativity : how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
Nymphomaniac : a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
Potato Chips : the hor d'oeurves served at a party given by a man.
Sober condition : in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
Disclaimer : To be taken humourously. No offence intended to anyone!
Love at 1st Sight : what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
Dating : the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
Birth Control : avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphram, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
Easy : a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
Eye Contact : a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
Friend : a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
Indifference : a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted to by the man as "playing hard to get."
Interesting : a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
Irritating Habit : what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
Law of Relationships : the less you care about a given man, the harder he is to get rid of.
Law of Relativity : how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
Nymphomaniac : a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
Potato Chips : the hor d'oeurves served at a party given by a man.
Sober condition : in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
Disclaimer : To be taken humourously. No offence intended to anyone!
Sunday, October 29, 2006
What do guys do to be successful with women?
I know that most guys want to be more successful with women. Every guy does. But what do most guys do about it?
Nothing.
They sit back and take whatever they can get—which is usually nothing. Sure, once in a while most guys have a little luck and meet a girl that will go out with them. But this usually doesn't happen very often.
And just about every guy I know or have talked to would like to have more skills and success when it comes to women. But here's the interesting part: Most guys won't go out and learn how to be successful with women. They just won't do it.
It's as if they had someone say to them when they were young: "You're a loser if you have to learn how to meet women" or "If you're not just acting natural and being yourself then there's something wrong with you."
Well I'm personally think that its all B.S.!
We weren't born knowing other skills like how to walk, how to speak English, or how to drive a car. These are basic skills that we LEARNT when we needed them. Success with women is just another skill, and any man can learn it if he wants to.
Have you ever looked at some of the 'relationship' books like “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?” Those books would be great—EXCEPT THAT THEY DON'T TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN!
All most books talk about is what to do after you're already dating a woman. They don't tell you ANYTHING about how to meet and attract women. These books only work if you've already got a girlfriend - they do almost nothing to teach you HOW TO GET ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE! And the books that do teach you how to meet women are mostly old, outdated, or just plain bizarre.
Even worse, there are books out there like "The Rules" that teach women exactly how to manipulate men in order to get them to buy women expensive gifts and marry them by playing mind games.
The sad truth is that most men give up and never have the kind of success that they want with women—they give up and settle for a woman that isn't what they REALLY want—or worse—they settle for no women at all.
It was not said simply..Its a dog's life!!
Nothing.
They sit back and take whatever they can get—which is usually nothing. Sure, once in a while most guys have a little luck and meet a girl that will go out with them. But this usually doesn't happen very often.
And just about every guy I know or have talked to would like to have more skills and success when it comes to women. But here's the interesting part: Most guys won't go out and learn how to be successful with women. They just won't do it.
It's as if they had someone say to them when they were young: "You're a loser if you have to learn how to meet women" or "If you're not just acting natural and being yourself then there's something wrong with you."
Well I'm personally think that its all B.S.!
We weren't born knowing other skills like how to walk, how to speak English, or how to drive a car. These are basic skills that we LEARNT when we needed them. Success with women is just another skill, and any man can learn it if he wants to.
Have you ever looked at some of the 'relationship' books like “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?” Those books would be great—EXCEPT THAT THEY DON'T TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN!
All most books talk about is what to do after you're already dating a woman. They don't tell you ANYTHING about how to meet and attract women. These books only work if you've already got a girlfriend - they do almost nothing to teach you HOW TO GET ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE! And the books that do teach you how to meet women are mostly old, outdated, or just plain bizarre.
Even worse, there are books out there like "The Rules" that teach women exactly how to manipulate men in order to get them to buy women expensive gifts and marry them by playing mind games.
The sad truth is that most men give up and never have the kind of success that they want with women—they give up and settle for a woman that isn't what they REALLY want—or worse—they settle for no women at all.
It was not said simply..Its a dog's life!!
Saturday, October 28, 2006
If your bored in Office!
We all have moments (very rarely of course) where we are stuck in office without work and bored out of our wits. We would have surfed (for the lucky ones) all the websites (which are permitted), read all filmy news and be upto date with the latest fashion.
Some tips to keep the mind occupied during those periods:-
1) Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.
2) Send mails from lotus notes or outlook to your internet mail (and >> immediately get to the internet and see who reaches first, you or the mail?) and read them there, and note down the time they take to reach there. Then do vice versa.......!!
3) Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's chair just to irritate him/her.
4) Watch other people changing their facial ex-pressions while working and try changing your ex-pressions also.
5) Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.
6) Revise last week's newspaper.
7) Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.
8) Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.
9) Look at someone & try to imagine how (s)he might have looked when (s)he was 5 years old.
10) Make full use of the comfortable chair and desk provided and take a nap.
Disclaimer - Follow the above at your own risk. I dont follow any of what I have written except the 10th one.
Some tips to keep the mind occupied during those periods:-
1) Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.
2) Send mails from lotus notes or outlook to your internet mail (and >> immediately get to the internet and see who reaches first, you or the mail?) and read them there, and note down the time they take to reach there. Then do vice versa.......!!
3) Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's chair just to irritate him/her.
4) Watch other people changing their facial ex-pressions while working and try changing your ex-pressions also.
5) Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.
6) Revise last week's newspaper.
7) Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.
8) Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.
9) Look at someone & try to imagine how (s)he might have looked when (s)he was 5 years old.
10) Make full use of the comfortable chair and desk provided and take a nap.
Disclaimer - Follow the above at your own risk. I dont follow any of what I have written except the 10th one.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Corporate Blogging
In my quest for information and my frequent surfing across the vast desert or oasis of the internet, I came across corporate blogs which further underlines the importance and rage that blogging has become.
Blogs till now, were the exclusive domain of individuals who wanted the whole wide world to know how their lives were going on (much like the truman show), travel blogs gave information on various places and culture, share thoughts & information and much much more...
Corporate blogging has slowly caught on and many CEOs now have their own blogs!!
Sure makes for good reading!!
Links
CEO, Sun Micro System
Fortune 500 Blogs
Walmart Fumbles
Blogs till now, were the exclusive domain of individuals who wanted the whole wide world to know how their lives were going on (much like the truman show), travel blogs gave information on various places and culture, share thoughts & information and much much more...
Corporate blogging has slowly caught on and many CEOs now have their own blogs!!
Sure makes for good reading!!
Links
CEO, Sun Micro System
Fortune 500 Blogs
Walmart Fumbles
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Microsoft Zune
The iPod has a new enemy in town, with an official release date of Nov. 14 in the USA and a $249.99 price tag. The Microsoft Zune opens a new market of "social" music connectivity.
WMA, MP3, AAC, JPEG,WMV, MPEG-4, H.264 media playback
Wi-Fi (802.11 b/g) connectivity
30 GB Hard Drive
3 inch video LCD 320x240
White, Black, and Brown Colors
FM Radio
TV output connectivity 640x480
Dedicated song download site (Zune Marketplace)
Podcast playback
Updateable Firmware
Tested 14 hr battery life for audio, 4 hr video
3 day playback of Wi-Fi transfered songs from friends
XBOX streaming
XBOX (Microsoft) points compatability
Preloaded music videos
Over a dozen accessories at launch
5.6 ounces in weight, 4.4 x 2.4 x 0.58 inches size
Metric: 158 g, 112 x 61 x 14.7 mm size
Custom background images
WiFi transfer of photographs
Tag based storage system (Will not appear as drive)
PC Compatability (no Mac client at launch)
Zune tag enabled
Horizontal and vertical video orientation
Additional Links
http://www.engadget.com
http://www.zunescene.com
Zune @ Wiki
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Experience at the Registrar's Office
Initially I was all excited to get my new house registered and had taken a day off also for it. Taking a day off for doing some work and relaxing for the latter part is incentive enough but little did I know what sort of time I was going to have.
I drove to the registrar's office in decent spirits which hit rock bottom the moment I saw the street. It was big enough to let a auto rickshaw go thro but one way. The building, though not the Taj Mahal, took my breath away. It was in a dingy corner, with small shops in the ground floor, selling stamp papers (where touts sat).
After affixing my autograph in each sheet of the sale & construction deed (wud total 100 for sure), the papers were taken upstairs (the sub-registrar and registrar office). The office was in a pathetic state and had enough people standing around(made me think of mumbai surburban trains). I saw a huge photo of Kalaingar (am sure 5 months back Amma was there). There were other rooms which had ceiling high shelves filled books and ledgers
The papers reached the sub registrar, who looked at the house pincode and started hunting for a register for about 10 mins. The register was not very important, it just had details as to how much stamp duty, land tax etc should be paid for that area! After noting that, he started searching for another 10 mins for a pencil, once found he wrote down some details on the back of the papers in a language I swear resembled the cave writings of Mohen-ja-daro. The only part I understood was the numbers which signifyed how much money should exchange hands.
Then, papers were moved from one desk to another (efficient workflow system) till it reached the Registrar. He called out names, checked photos against faces, changed some numbers, swore some 50 times, scribbled with a green pen over the cave writings, after some 15 mins, finally said please pay the necessary amount at the counter.
I understand that land records, title deeds etc are being computerised in various e-governance initiatives. There were 4-5 people with computers, the only thing computerized I saw was the bill for the amount paid.
Finally the last straw, a ledger was brought alongwith the papers, the attendant said dip ur left thumb in the ink and place a thumb impression (kai nattu) near each of my photos (wondering why the hell I did post graduation).
Finally it was over!!! I was told that an inspection team would come in about 15 days, visit the site and sign the papers (once their palms are greased) and papers would be released after another 15 days.
Rest of the day went well, would have been better if not for the headache.
I drove to the registrar's office in decent spirits which hit rock bottom the moment I saw the street. It was big enough to let a auto rickshaw go thro but one way. The building, though not the Taj Mahal, took my breath away. It was in a dingy corner, with small shops in the ground floor, selling stamp papers (where touts sat).
After affixing my autograph in each sheet of the sale & construction deed (wud total 100 for sure), the papers were taken upstairs (the sub-registrar and registrar office). The office was in a pathetic state and had enough people standing around(made me think of mumbai surburban trains). I saw a huge photo of Kalaingar (am sure 5 months back Amma was there). There were other rooms which had ceiling high shelves filled books and ledgers
The papers reached the sub registrar, who looked at the house pincode and started hunting for a register for about 10 mins. The register was not very important, it just had details as to how much stamp duty, land tax etc should be paid for that area! After noting that, he started searching for another 10 mins for a pencil, once found he wrote down some details on the back of the papers in a language I swear resembled the cave writings of Mohen-ja-daro. The only part I understood was the numbers which signifyed how much money should exchange hands.
Then, papers were moved from one desk to another (efficient workflow system) till it reached the Registrar. He called out names, checked photos against faces, changed some numbers, swore some 50 times, scribbled with a green pen over the cave writings, after some 15 mins, finally said please pay the necessary amount at the counter.
I understand that land records, title deeds etc are being computerised in various e-governance initiatives. There were 4-5 people with computers, the only thing computerized I saw was the bill for the amount paid.
Finally the last straw, a ledger was brought alongwith the papers, the attendant said dip ur left thumb in the ink and place a thumb impression (kai nattu) near each of my photos (wondering why the hell I did post graduation).
Finally it was over!!! I was told that an inspection team would come in about 15 days, visit the site and sign the papers (once their palms are greased) and papers would be released after another 15 days.
Rest of the day went well, would have been better if not for the headache.
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