Dictionary of Dating

Attraction : the act of associating horniness with a particular person.

Love at 1st Sight : what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

Dating : the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

Birth Control : avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphram, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

Easy : a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

Eye Contact : a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

Friend : a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

Indifference : a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted to by the man as "playing hard to get."

Interesting : a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

Irritating Habit : what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

Law of Relationships : the less you care about a given man, the harder he is to get rid of.

Law of Relativity : how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

Nymphomaniac : a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

Potato Chips : the hor d'oeurves served at a party given by a man.

Sober condition : in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

Disclaimer : To be taken humourously. No offence intended to anyone!